Is it just me or are there so many single mothers these days compared to long ago?
Men, what is not happening? Y’all don’t want responsibilities or what? Just what’s the issue? I have no child myself of baby daddy/baby mama issues, but I have friends and family that do. And from my observation, most of these baby mama/baby daddy problems can easily be solved.
No, really, it’s possible to get along with your baby mama, for the sake of your child, without qualms.
Here are handy tips:
1. Have an ADULT one on one discussion.
See how I put adult in caps? Yeah, sit down with your baby mama, especially if the relationship ended on a bad note. Meet for lunch somewhere public as that will prevent you from shouting and arguing and speak like grown ups. Get closure, on why the relationship did not work out and let her know that you still do care about her and the child and find a way forward.
2. Come up with a plan and follow it to the letter.
The two of you need to plan on things such as visitation and finances. At the end of the day, you have to forget your differences and remember that there’s a child’s life depending on both of you so you need to step up and come up with a plan on who pays for what and when you need to see the baby so that your baby mama can also prepare herself accordingly.
3. Don’t be stingy.
Single mothers work so damn hard. You played a part in bringing that child to life. Give your baby mama a small monthly stipend just to support her in buying food, school stuff or taking your child out on Sundays, especially if you do not want her to take your ass to the children’s court.
4. Do not make her jealous of your new girlfriend.
Your baby mama understands that you will move on to someone else after her. However, do not rub it in her face. Also, if she moves on to someone else, stay out of it and let her morphe into the new relationship peacefully and drama free.
5. Respect your baby mama.
At the end of the day, this woman is the mother of your child. Do not abuse her over the phone or shout at her and the likes. If she’s asking you for something, it’s because she needs your help; so be reasonable.
6. Be active in your child’s life.
Join your baby mama in school functions or birthdays. Call to check in on your child once in a while, write letters if it’s an older child, do daddy-son/daddy-daughter stuff together. That’s not too much to ask.
7. Stop focusing on the negatives and focus on the positives.
Are you those dads who will pick the child and start telling them “Wewe ni kama tu mamako” “hizo tabia ulitoa kwa mamako eh?” Focus on the positives.